I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
