There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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