He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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