i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
