shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
