i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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