Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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