Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize