I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
