How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
