If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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