Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
