is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
