I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
