and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
