3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
