I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
