the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
