I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
