How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
