First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
