There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
