I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
