Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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