Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
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