Too much gin, very little bucket
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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