Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The air was thick with penises
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
