making cat noises will not fix the situation.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
