im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
