so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
