i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
