I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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