but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
