He is such a slut. More and more my type.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize
