Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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