Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
