whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
