There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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