physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
