I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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