I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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