Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
