Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
