Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
