I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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