i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
