Don't you send me to vm
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
