So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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