Do you still have your period?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
