I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
