office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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