Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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