Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
