I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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