so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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