We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
