i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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