Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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