Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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