Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
